


I just want one nice spa experience!

by Iamthebad_wolf



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Adventure, Aliens, Chronic Pain, Explosions, F/F, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I've never been to a spa, Injured Doctor (Doctor Who), Injury, Medical Inaccuracies, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, Sick Doctor (Doctor Who), Spa Treatments, Spa treatment inaccuracies, Team TARDIS, Team as Family, The Doctor (Doctor Who) Whump, The Doctor is Hurt (Doctor Who), Whump, but later on, just trying to have a spa day, thasmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:00:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22517398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamthebad_wolf/pseuds/Iamthebad_wolf
Summary: You have chronic pain. Sometimes it gets in the way of the good times. The Doctor being the good friend she is, decides to take you on a little trip to a spa.I think you can guess where this is goingSomething is attacking the spa. More specifically, its attacking all the telepaths at the spa, the Doctor included.Can the fam stop it before its too late?
Relationships: Thirteen/Yaz, Thirteenth Doctor & Graham O'Brien, Thirteenth Doctor & Reader, Thirteenth Doctor & Ryan Sinclair, Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan & Graham O'Brien & Ryan Sinclair, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 13
Kudos: 56





	1. Pain does that

You've never been to a spa. Not surprising considering you grew up in a family that struggled to put food on the table, that barely managed to scrape enough money together to pay the rent each month. But Yaz and Graham still looked shocked - and offended - when you admitted it. You shrug, not really caring. Your energy levels are low today; it's a bad pain day. Having chronic pain was the bane of your existence, quite literally. 

Ryan eyes you warily. He knows what you are like on pain days. He knows you can be quiet, or angry, or snappy, he knows you shouldn't be messed with, and he knows you shouldn't be put out of your comfort zone. 

(Not really a good combination having chronic pain and travelling with the Doctor then.)

The Doctor also notices your mood. You know she always keeps a special eye on you, just because you're more prone to injuries than the others. (You're always in pain, so often don't notice when you get an injury on top of what else is going on.)

"Bad day?" She asks gently. 

You look up to see her crouched next to you. The look of concern, sadness in her eyes is almost overwhelming. You don't like it when she worries. "Almost." You joke. 

It's true, you've had worse. You've had days when you can barely move for the fire coursing through your entire body. The intensity of the pain differs each day, and you never know how each day is going to turn out. Sometimes you have weeks where the pain is at its baseline, and sometimes you have multiple days when you can't even leave the house. This isn't even close to the worse pain you've ever had. But that doesn't mean it's not bad. 

The Doctor sighs, seeing it in your eyes. "You don't need to put on a brave face for me." 

You nod. "I know. But I need to put one on for me." 

She seems to get that, because she bounces back to her feet, and dances round the console. 

"Right, spa day." She tells her companions cheerily.

"So long as it’s not like the last one." Graham warns, and a quiet look settles on all of them.

You frown. You’ve not been travelling with team TARDIS all too long; picked up on their last trip to earth, when a small group of nestine duplicates tried to abduct you for no reason except you were there. The Doctor invited you along, and who in their right mind would deny the opportunity to travel the universe with a crazy alien, her three human friends, in a strange time and space machine that seems to have a mind of its own? 

"What happened last time?"

The Doctor throws a look your way that you don’t like. There’s a darkness behind her gaze that tells of horrors you don’t want to make them relive. So, you let the question drop.

Dancing around the central console, the Doctor flicks switches and pulls levers, and before you know it, the TARDIS is landing somewhere with its signature groaning sound. everyone runs to the doors. 

"Where are we?" Yaz asks

"The planet Mesaline." The Doctor tells them, a smile on her face. "I came here some years ago. Its changed since, and I know of a really good spa here that it’s just the ticket."

You groan as you get to your feet, a sharp stab of pain running through your ribs, and up into your neck and along your arm. You don’t know what exactly causes the pain, and why it strikes there, but you roll with it. You join the others at the door and look out the doors. 

God, you're never going to get tired of this. 

The field of grass is the purest green you've ever seen, slowing tapering downhill towards a lake. The odd dip in the land lies here and there, dotting the landscape. In the distance there are large mountains, creating a shadow over the land. At the base of the mountains is a forest, filled with pines and all types of greenery. 

In the other direction, a tall spire of white reaches to the heavens. At the base of the spire is a dome with hexagonal glass pieces letting the light in. Behind that lies more buildings, and quite possibly, a swimming pool. 

"That's where we're headed?" Graham asks the Doctor, his voice so full of excitement the Doctor smiles. "At least we know there's no murderous landscape surrounding it." 

The others nod, and once again, you say nothing. Their stories are theirs to tell, but only when they feel comfortable enough. You also give the Doctor a look, a look which conveys to her just how much pain you’re in. Usually the pain focuses on your upper back and shoulders but can strike anywhere there’s a joint. Today, the pain is all down your back, and in your hips as well. You’re not going to be able to walk all that distance to the spa.

"Right, let’s try and get a bit closer," the Doctor says, pirouetting around the controls, "spa day means being lazy. Why should we have to walk all that way?" 

She’s joking, and the others all roll with it, but you can see from the concerned side eyed glances that they know it’s because your pain is intense today. You’d give it a good 6.5/10. Maybe more. 

Once the TARDIS lands again, you are the one to open the door, and see that you’re parked just 10 meters from a parking lot. The front doors are roughly 200 feet away. That distance is manageable.

"Come on then gang, let’s get a shift on." The Doctor bursts past you, quickly followed by Yaz, Ryan, then Graham. Shutting the door behind you, you follow on quickly, desperate not to be left behind.

Entering the lobby takes your breath away. The crystal white ceiling is four storeys above your head, balconies from other floors overlooking the lobby. The main reception desk is about 10 meters longs, curved, and made of white marble. Behind the desk is a fountain, floating flowers that resemble lily pads gently bobbing up and down. You will be surprised if there aren’t also fish in there too. 

The Doctor is chatting at the desk, flashing her psychic paper to the receptionist, trying to insist she made a booking, sonicing the computer when the receptionist isn’t looking. It gives you enough time to wander slightly (not too far, damned chronic pain) and peer through doors, look at the signs. Sure enough, there’s a pool, which you want to visit. But the main sign that catches your eye is the one saying there’s a masseuse. You’ve never had a massage, and have no idea if it will be able to help with the pain.

No harm in trying, right?

"Right fam." Clapping her hands together, the Doctor pulls your attention back to her. "We have four days here to just relax."

"Can you do relaxing?" Ryan interrupts.

"Yeah. No offense, doc, but every time we go somewhere, something always gets blown up, or people die, or both." Graham agrees.

"Oi, I’m not that problematic." the Doctor protests.

You pull a face. "Hmm, I think we'd all have to disagree with you on that one. You’re like a magnet for trouble." Even when she’s just trying to take you all on a harmless sightseeing trip of a supernova in a faraway galaxy, you end up flying through a group of mating space squid, and nearly end up as their dinner. The doctor doesn’t know what 'relaxing' and 'peaceful' mean, not if her life is anything to go by.

"Sorry Doctor, they’re kind of right." If Yaz is ganging up on the Doctor, then they’re making a pretty solid argument.

The Doctor scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest. "I take offense to that statement."

You smile, and point to the massage sign. "Well then, I wont offend you any further, and go and get a massage."

Yaz waves you off, but just as you turn to go, the Doctor yelps and grabs her head, doubling over in pain. Yaz is at her side in an instance, and you feel panic rising in your chest. Something is wrong with the doctor?

"Doctor? What’s wrong?" Yaz grips at the Doctor’s elbow, trying to get the Time Lord to look at her. But the Doctors face is scrunched in pain, her breathing laboured. 

She stays like that for a very painful and tense few seconds, which feel like an eternity to you. She finally manages to take her hand away from her head, and straighten up. But there’s no childish spark in her eyes anymore. She’s rattled. 

Pain does that.

"Doc? What was that?"

The Doctor shakes her head, blonde hair falling in front of her eyes. It’s a testament to how rattled she is by the fact she doesn’t move the hair away from her face. "I don’t know. some sort of telepathic attack?"

"From what? What could do that to you?" Yaz is right to be concerned. The Doctor is more of a touch telepath, only able to do long range if a link has already been established. Occasionally she can sense other species, but usually only if they’re time lords, or telepaths calling out to her. "Maybe we should go."

"No," the Doctor is quick to respond. "No, you all deserve a few days to relax."

"We can find another spa!" You tell her. Worry claws at your chest. You can’t understand why she’s so adamant you stay here, not when there must be billions of other spas in the universe. 

"No! If it gets too much I’ll return to the TARDIS. But we're here now, and you deserve that massage." She is looking directly at you, those old eyes boring into your soul. Sometimes you forget that she is thousands of years old. Other times, it’s hard to forget.

You want to object, tell her to fly away, leave the pain behind. You know that’s what you'd do. Hell, that’s what you wish you could do every day of your life, just fly away from the pain. But the doctor is giving you that chance now, here at the spa, to relax and let the pain fall away. You know she can deal with pain for a little while. And she’s right, the Doctor can return to the safety of the TARDIS if it gets too much.

You nod, feeling extremely guilty, but you begin to head off for that massage. Suddenly, it doesn’t feel as nice here anymore.


	2. Anything goes in a universe this big

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never been to a spa, and since it's the early hours of the morning, can't be bothered to do any research into what there is at a spa. So please forgive any inaccuracies
> 
> Thank you for reading :)

The Doctor watches you leave, before turning to her fam. “I'm going to do a bit of investigating, see what was doing that. I need to try and stop it incase there are other telepaths like me also hurting because of whatever this is."

The team nods. "We'll help." Ryan insists. He's not a very spa enthused person.

But the Doctor shakes her head. "No, I brought you here to have a good time, to relax. It was one psychic attack. I'll be fine. Now go, have fun. Relax."

Graham eyes the Doc warily, but he does as she says and leaves, turning in the direction of the pool. Light streams down through glass windows to light up the room and make the air the perfect temperature for just relaxing in. 

Ryan also leaves, but he runs up the stairs, probably to have a look around to see if there's anything else that takes his fancy. He finds a small room with a young woman doing facials. He thinks that this could be right up his street. 

That leaves Yaz. Yaz loves a good spa. She loves facials, massages, steam room, and all of it. But she also loves the Doctor (not that she can imagine herself admitting it), and she's not leaving her side. 

"Yaz, you can go." The Doctor tells her softly. 

Yaz shakes her head, taking a step towards the time lord, and taking her clenched fist into her hands. "No one else noticed, but I did." She refuses to let the Doctor drop her gaze. "You're still in pain."

The Doctor let's out a pained sigh, hanging her head. It's not often the Doctor admits she's in pain, but she's already been caught. There's no hiding it now. "It's bad, Yaz. Not unbearable, not yet, but it hurts. I need to find out what's doing this."

Eyes full of concern, Yaz turns to the receptionist. "Hi, is there a doctor here?"

*************

He wished he'd brought a book. 

He loves a good spa, and he loves a good sunbathe, but after about half an hour of doing nothing, he is getting a bit bored. He considers having a nap, but his mind is also too focussed on what happened to the doctor earlier. There are not many things that can affect her to that level, and if that something here is at the spa, then he doesn't think he'll ever truly be able to relax. 

So, getting out of his sunlounger, Graham begins to wander the spa, looking for the Doctor. He knows you are getting a massage, and Ryan is off doing whatever it is he's found that's interesting him, and he knows Yaz stuck with the Doc. But where Yaz and the Doc are now is another question. 

He's on the second floor when he sees something that stops him in his tracks. Another guest walks out of their room slowly, shuffling along. They seem pretty out of it, like they've only just woken up from a nap. Their skin is tinged blue, and almost transparent. Long turquoise hair trails down their back. They're not human, Graham can tell that easily, but he can also sense that something is off about their actions. 

"Hey, you alright mate?" Graham asks, walking up to them quite gingerly. If something is wrong, this interaction could go in any direction. 

The shuffling stops, and Graham's eyes widen in horror as the person turns to look at them. Their eyes are blown wide, bloodshot. Their mouth hangs open at an odd angle, saliva dripping down their chin. They see Graham and tilt their head to the side. Graham notes, with increasing horror, that the look in their eyes is almost... Hungry. 

"Oh god!" Graham looks around, looking for anyone else, or anywhere to run. The person begins shuffling towards him, and that's when he hears it: more shuffling coming up behind him. 

Spinning on the spot, Graham sees four more people, in similar states to the other, shuffling towards him. Arms limp, mouths open, eyes staring, unseeing. 

"Please don't be zombies." But Graham has seen enough to know they could be zombies. Anything goes in a universe this big. 

The exact spot he stands in is not a good one. The corridor is about three meters wide, with doors every five meters. The stairs are blocked off by the four creatures behind him. The lift blocked off by the creature in front of him. There's nowhere for him to run. There's also no telling how the virus/zombieness is passed on, and he doesn't want to risk touchin them, or even getting close enough to breathe the same air as them. 

He's overcome one deadly illness in his lifetime, he doesn't need to add another to that list. 

If he stays where he is, he could potentially be dead in a few seconds. So he does the only thing he can: he runs into a room and barricades the door shut. 

Sliding a bed in front of the door, he pants, fear flooding his system. "Please Doc. Please sort this out."

************

It was easy chatting to the girl doing his facial. It was also annoying, because whatever paste it was that she was putting on his face was drying into some sort of crispy covering that was really, really, really itchy. 

"Stop it!" She laughs for the fourth time, slapping his hand away as he brought it to his face, desperate to scratch at his skin. 

"I can't help it, it's itchy!" Ryan complains. But he does as he's told anyway.

A small smile hidden behind her hair, she turns away from him, picking up a pot of something else she wants to put on his face. He's been in here for twenty minutes already, had numerous masks on his face to prevent the skin from drying, acne from forming, and other things that he hadn't thought were an issue before today. 

A clattering snaps him from his thoughts. He leans on his elbows, looking at the girl. She's aost doubled over, fists clenched as she takes deep breathes. The bowl she had gone to pick up had lay discarded on the floor, it's contents spilling out. 

"You okay?" Ryan asks gingerly. When he receives no reply, he sits up, and goes over to her. He places a gentle hand on her back, feeling her shaking beneath him. 

Skin contact seems to snap her out of whatevers happening, which just happens to look like what the doctor had experienced earlier. She turns to him, eyes wide, just staring. 

"You okay?" Ryan repeats, a feeling of uneasiness growing within him with every passing second. 

Snarling, she lunges.

"You died! I killed you! I made sure you were dead! You're a monster. You deserve to die!" Hands wrap around Ryan's neck as he falls back onto the floor. Shock causes him to crash into things as he goes. The girl is petite, no way she should have this strength to knock him over. 

Eyes bulging, Ryan tries to push her off, to no avail. His hands Scrabble around on the floor, looking for anything, absolutely anything, that he can use as a weapon to get her off him. He knows he doesn't have much longer. Black spots (small for the moment, but leading to something worse) begin to form at the corner of his vision. 

Just when he's beginning to give up hope of finding anything, his hands glasp onto a bowl. It's heavy ceramic, and when it connects with her skull it does so with a horrific crunch. 

He has just enough time to get to his feet, heart beating way too fast, head spinning. But she's not down for long, despite the bloody gash on her temple. He would feel bad, if it weren't for the look of pure hostility in her eyes, a look that hungers for death. 

He knocks over more as he runs for the door, the girl close on his heels. 

Slamming the door shut behind him, he looks into the atrium for anyone who can help him. There's someone else panting heavily a few doors down, and it's clear they've both experienced similar things. The man looks up, spying Ryan, and immediately runs in the opposite direction. 

"No stop! I just-" but it's futile. The man is too scared to care for what Ryan is going to say. 

Sighing, Ryan bends over, hands on knees and chest heaving painfully. He can feel bruises formin on his neck from where the girl had tried to strangle him. 

That's weird. There's something behind him. 

Turning, he sees what made the man run. 

An army of what looks like zombies are shuffling towards him. One has an arm outstretched towards him. 

Shock causes him to stumble away from the door, giving the girl the opportunity to barge out the door, right into the group of zombies. A zombie reaches an arm around her neck, biting her. 

"Oh god. Oh god no. Please no!" 

The girls eyes glaze over, and she goes from being angry, and bloodthirsty, to placid and shuffling. But the look in her eyes is replaced by something almost worse than bloodthirsty. The look in her eyes is hungry. 

She's hungry for Ryan's flesh. 

Ryan belts it down the corridor. 

He needs to find the doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any advice/ tips / ideas appreciated
> 
> Please be kind though :)


	3. Not every hand is hostile

It's Ryan that announces something is wrong. You're in the middle of getting a massage (which is honestly working miracles) when he bursts into the room, panting heavily, eyes wide with panic. 

The masseuse stops working, causing you to look up at your intruder. "Ryan?"

Ryan looks at you. You recognise that expression. Terror. Pure terror. 

"What's going on?"

He shakes his head, pointing to the door. "There are zombies!"

You frown, convinced you misheard him. "zombies?" 

He nods urgently. "yeah, and they're right outside."

You look to your masseuse, who hands you your clothes to slip into. As you do, you think about what Ryan said. Zombies? Surely not. You've seen a lot of things, many types of monsters whilst travelling with the doctor, but never once has she mentioned anything about zombies. Youve seen people possessed by other mind controlling creatures who looked like zombies, but that's about as close as it's gotten. "There's no such thing as zombies. There's always some sensible explanation for these things." (Well, not always a sensible explanation, but there's always some sort of explanation for weird and wacky things.)

Ryan is bent at waist, hands on his knees. "I saw, I saw the girl doing my facial... She got bitten by one of the others, and was immediately taken over by whatever this was."

The masseuse goes pale. "Xaya? Really?"

Ryan nods. "I'm sorry, but I think she's now one of the undead."

You shake your head, wanting to believe, but part of you unable to. "Ryan, this is insane. Have you seen the Doctor, talked to her about it?"

"No, you're the first one I've seen." He can tell you don't believe him. "but, before xaya was bitten, she was acting like the Doctor was earlier. Like something was inside her mind." 

Now that grabs your attention. That, you can believe. "We need to find the Doctor."

The masseuse doesn't know who the Doctor is, but they believe you when you say that you need to find help. They run to the door, pulling it open just as Ryan shouts, "no!"

The zombie things, whatever they are, flood in through the door, and the masseuse screams as they tear into her. You turn away, just as you see what looks like her arm being ripped off. You feel like you're going to puke. 

Preoccupied with the masseuse, the zombies don't notice as Ryan goes to the window on the other side of the room. He yanks it open and sees a courtyard outside. It leads into another separate part of the spa, what looks like it could be a doctor's surgery, or possibly a hospital. It's a very small drop from the window, one both you and Ryan could handle. You suddenly feel a hand on your shoulder, and know the zombie things are beginning to get bored with their current play thing. Before they have the chance to properly grab you, Ryan grabs your hand and pushes you through the window, paying no heed to the now very dead masseuse you're leaving behind. 

After so long with the Doctor, he no longer sees death in quite the same way. It still affect him deeply, makes him very sad, and mourn for them, but he is also better at moving on. He knows to keep going with life even if you have to leave them behind. You're not there yet, and part of you is very glad about that. 

You land in the courtyard, shaken by what you just saw. A death like that is a brutal one, and you never want to see anything like that ever again. 

"Come on." Ryan is still holding onto your wrist, and he pulls you across the courtyard, peering into the windows as he goes. He's trying to find somewhere safe to re-enter the spa. 

Eventually you stumble across a tall door, that is both open, and unoccupied. You're dragged through, feeling a pain begin to throb through your shoulder. Out of danger, the two of you allow yourself to sit on the bed in the room, and just breathe. 

"That was horrible." Images of gruesome deaths are going to be haunting your dreams tonight. 

Ryan places a hand on your shoulder. The contact is reassuring. Not every hand is hostile. 

***********

Completely unaware of the situation in the spa, the Doctor and Yaz are chatting away to a young medical student in the med zone. They have been for sometime, trying to figure out what could possibly causing the psychic attacks the Doctor has been experiencing, and experiencing more and more frequently with every passing moment. 

"We have had a few complaints from the Rax. They're a mildly telepathic race that's moved to the planet quite recently. You might have seen some of them." He offers gently. 

Yaz nods. "Blue hair?"

The med student nods. "That's them. We suspect a virus may be the root cause, but we don't actually know."

"You don't know?" The Doctor asks, incredulously. "how can you not know? Several members of your staff, and some guests are notifying you of psychic attacks and you've done nothing? I'd say the spa was guilty of some serious negligence."

Yaz smiles. She's heard that line before. 

Letting out a sigh, the med student hand a load of papers to the Doctor. "here are the complaints. There's nothing for us to go on except..."

"Doctor?"

Yaz frowns, going to the door. "Ryan?" 

Ryans head appears through the door, and his face breaks into a massive smile. "oh, am I glad to see you!" 

You enter just seconds later, collapsing onto a chair in the corner. The pain in your shoulder has been growing ever since you got into the med zone. It's nothing new, unfortunately, so you're trying to drown it out, but not very successfully. 

Yaz hugs Ryan, and then comes to your side, checking up on you. You nod, trying to tell her you're okay, but her eyes goes to your shoulder, your bad shoulder. 

How could she know?

"Doctor?" Yazs eyes are full of concern as she pulls at the collar of your top, revealing a gash on your shoulder. Looking between you and the wound on your shoulder, yazs eyes are full of questions.

Frankly, you are thinking the same thing: how the hell did you get that? You don't remember anything catching your shoulder. 

The Doctor rushes over, scanning the wound with her sonic screwdriver. Meanwhile, you send a very worried look to Ryan. If you got this from one of the zombies, doesn't that mean you're destined to become one too? 

Ryan grips your hand, just as you begin to feel tears form in your eyes. 

"What happened? What's going on out there?" Yaz asks. She knows something must be wrong if you and Ryan are here, and you are injured. 

"There are these zombie things swarming the spa. They killed xaya, the girl doing my facial, she had one of those attack thingies you had, doctor, and then she got bitten by one of the zombies, and became one of them." Ryan explains as quickly as he can. 

The Doctor is growing as she scans the both of you. "Zombies?"

"Yeah. They burst into where I was and killed... The ripped the masseuse apart." You try to keep your breaths steady, but it's hard. Your tired, in pain, and afraid. Not a good mix, and you're starting to feel very emotional. 

"Wait? Where grandad?" Ryan asks. 

The four of you share a look. He's still in the spa. 

Before you can do anything, the Doctor screams. 

She's on the floor in a split second. Hands claw at her head as she writhes in pain. She screams and screams, ripping her throat raw. Ryan and Yaz are at her side in a second, trying to calm her down, to no avail. She's in too much pain, a level of pain you've never seen anyone in before. You never thought you'd even see the doctor in this much pain. She broke her leg once, and none of you even noticed until she showed up with a cast on her leg half an hour after you were all back in the TARDIS. 

The Doctor is good at hiding her pain. 

The level of pain she's in now... There is no hiding that. 

Eventually the screaming subsides, but the Doctor doesn't moved from where she has curled up on the floor. The med student bends down, checking her over. She's responsive enough that they don't worry too much. But everyone in the room is shaken, the Doctor most of all (understandably). Tears stream down her face, and she stares unseeing in front of her. 

Yaz shakes her shoulder gently. "Doctor. It's over. It's gone now. You're okay." The way yazs voice cracks, you can tell Yaz is on the verge of tears yourself. 

You can't blame her. 

That was horrible. 

The Doctor nods, finally uncurling her hands from her head. She's shaking as she sits up. She allows Yaz to help her up, allows Yaz to wipe her tears away. 

"I saw them die. I saw them all die." The Doctor whispers, so quietly, you think you imagined it. "I felt it too." 

That tears your heart in two. You can't imagine being forced to feel the agony of someone elses death. 

Taking a deep breath, the Doctor shakes her head, trying to forget what she just saw. "We need to find Graham. Then, we need to find out what those zombie things really are." She puts up a good front as she talks, but everyone knows it's just an act. No one says anything.

You swallow. "Doctor. If I was injured by... Am I going to become one of them?" 

The Doctor shakes her head. "when I scanned you, I couldn't see any sign of whatever virus it is infecting you too."

You let out a breath you didn't know you had been holding. At least you're out of danger, but...

"Why?" 

"Why?" The Doctor repeats. "Because you're not telepathic."

You, Yaz, ryan, and the med student all frown. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Running a hand through her hair, the Doctor tries to find a simple way of putting it. "These psychic attacks, where are they originating from? We don't know. But they're getting stronger each time, and from what I can gather, you said the army of zombies is getting bigger all the time. They must be what is transmitting the attack. Whatever is turning them into zombies, must be targeting the telepathic centres of their minds. So the virus can only be transferred to telepathic races." 

You nod, understanding. "So me, Yaz, and Ryan, we are safe. And Graham. But Doctor, you could turn into one of them." 

Clenching her jaw, the Doctor nods. Shoulders slumped, eyes down, she looks so defeated. You've never seen her like this before. 

"No, it's not a death sentence. All we need to do is find Graham and get to the TARDIS." Yaz argues. She refuses to accept that the Doctor will become on of those things. 

"I can't leave it like this. We have to stop the virus from spreading." The Doctor says softly. 

So, in other words, none of you are leaving any time soon. 

"Would blowing them up do any good?" 

Four heads swivel to look at the med student. "sorry?"

"Would blowing them up stop the virus from spreading further?" They repeat.

"Well, yes, but how are we going to blow them up? There are innocent, uninfected people in the spa, I won't kill them too." The Doctor tells the medic, her tone harsh. 

"You don't need to." The med student explains. "There are old tunnels underneath the spa, from when the planet was first colonised. They run out and away, towards the lake. There are also gas pipes down there. Lead the zombies down there, break a pipe, ignite the gas, blow them up. Simple." 

"Oh yeah, simple." You say sarcastically. 

"No, it could work. Are there any schematics for these tunnels?" The Doctor ponders. 

The med student nods, sliding into the computer seat. They begin tapping away, until eventually they come across some blueprints. "here. Will these do."

The Doctor nods, a smile forming on her face as she begins to memorise the maps. "these will do nicely."


	4. Run!

Thankfully, the room Graham had barricaded himself into had a bathroom, and an armchair. It also had bookshelves in the corner. But although he had wanted a book to read earlier, he was now too on edge to read. He had been in this room for ages, probably an hour, maybe two at this point, and he was losing his mind being cooped up in here. Outside was probably clear, those zombie things should have moved on, but he had stayed put, just to make sure. Now however, he needs to make a break for it. He has no idea where the rest of the TARDIS crew is, and he worries for them, mostly for Ryan (he's family), and the Doctor (she had an attack earlier). 

Pulling the barricade from the door, he takes a small step out into the corridor, ready to bolt back into the room if he needs to. But the longer he walks, the quieter it seems. 

However, travelling with the Doctor means you can never 100% trust the situation presented to you, so Graham is on edge the entire walk to the stairs. The balcony over looks the atrium, and he risks a look to see if he can see anyone. He peeks over.

He wishes he hadn't. 

A zombie creature stands by the door, swaying on the spot, not really doing anything. But behind it lies three bodies, all torn apart. 

What is going on? Why are they doing this?

Where's the Doctor?

"Hello? Mister?" 

Graham spins on his heel, turning to see a young girl, no older than four, standing at the door to a guest room, just staring at him. She has long blue hair, pale blue skin and wide, terrified eyes. 

"Hello?"

"Have you seen my mummy?" She asks, taking a step towards him. But she seems wary of him, likely having been told to not talk to strangers. 

Graham goes to her, getting down to a knee so he can be on the same level as her. He doesn't want to seem imposing to this young soul. "Your mummy? Isn't she with you?"

She shakes her head, hair falling in front of her eyes. "No. She left me some time ago. She left me with Dax though, but he also went. He was having headaches and wanted to find a doctor." 

Figuring Dax was the girls brother, and that he might still be alive, he asks the girl if he can tell her where to find a doctor. She says she knows the way. 

"Can you take me?" Graham asks gently. 

She thinks about it for a while. Her mummy and Dax both told her not to leave the room, but this kind old man wants to help her find them both. She nods. "but-"

Abruptly cutting off her own sentence before it really even began, she runs back into her room, only to appear a few seconds later holding a ragged old teddy bear. "I need to take Teddy too."

Graham smiles. The priorities of a four year old baffle him. Reaching out a hand, she takes it, holding on tight. "Come on, cockle."

They walk along the corridors until the come to a lift. The building appears to be a large square, with a courtyard in the middle. Three quarters of it is dedicated to the spa, while the remaining is a hospital/medical centre. 

By talking to the little girl, he learns her name is Raven, and she and her brother had been brought her by her mother after their father had died a few months ago. 

"I'd never been to a funeral before that. I don't understand why it's such a sad thing. We all had a fun time doing things daddy loves to do. We are his favourite foods, and played his favourite games."

Graham can't help but feel impressed by this little girl, who looks at the happier side of a funeral. But he also feels very sad for her. She had lost her father, and now she has potentially lost her brother and mother. She might have lost all of her family at only four years old. 

Raven doesnt know that though, so Graham doesn't let it show on his face. Instead, he allows Raven to press the buttons in the lift, feeling it move down the levels. He expects the door that came through to open, but instead the opposite wall slides open, revealing what is most definitely a hospital ward. 

It's empty. 

Maybe the zombie creatures haven't reached this part yet?

But maybe the Doc isn't here either? 

No, this is only the first room, there could be loads of other people - healthy, unharmed, un-zombied people - waiting in the other rooms. 

Raven pulls him through the ward and into another corridor. (God, these corridors are endless. Whoever created this thing needs a better imagination.)

This corridor feels a little less hospital-like, more like a doctor's surgery. There are so many rooms branching off this main corridor that Graham feels almost swamped. He doesn't want to have to search all of them if he can avoid it. But luckily a lot of the doors are locked and empty, meaning his search is shortened a bit. 

After about twenty minutes of popping heads through doors, looking for people, they hear what sounds like glass smashing coming from behind them. 

They're rooted to the spot. Graham turns his head to see what's there, and freezes to the spot. 

There are zombies breaking through a window, and swarming in through the gap. Most of them are gashing themselves on broken glass, but none of them notice.

They truly are undead. 

Unfreezing, Graham scoops Raven into his arms and runs, not bothering to look in any other rooms. 

Unfortunately, as soon as Graham takes off, the zombies notice him, and take to the chase like a fox chases a rabbit. 

Having Raven in his arms slows him a bit, but he stills runs his absolute fastest. But he knows it's not fast enough. He can hear them on his heel. 

Turning a corner, he trips on an upturned chair, which sends him sprawling on the floor. Raven rolls out of his arms, getting to her feet faster than he can. 

"Run, Raven! Run!" He yells. 

She doesn't need to be told twice, taking off down the corridor, as fast as her little legs can take her. Doing his best to keep up, Graham gets to his feet, only to then feel a hand on his arm. Dread swallows him whole, and he grabs the first thing he sees - an abandoned mug - and smacks the creature in the head. The mug shatters, ceramic imbedding itself in Graham's hand, not that he notices. The creature falls back, allowing Graham just enough time to sprint after raven. He's never run so fast in his life. 

Suddenly the little girl in front of him drops to the floor. She curls in on herself, hands clawing at her head as she lets out the most gut wrenching scream, made forever worse by the fact that she is four, and shouldn't be screaming like that. 

Graham stoops to pick her up, when he hears another scream, coming from a room about twenty meters further on. 

Ignoring the wriggling in his arms, he makes it to the room, smacking his hand on the door, desperate to be allowed in. He can't lose the little girl in his arms. And he needs to see Ryan again. 

The very face hed been wishing to see, is the one that opens the door. But before Graham can hug him, Ryan yanks him through the door, slamming it shut behind him. 

Only once the door is shut, does Graham let Raven down. The screaming has luckily subsided, and she now lives limp in his arms. He lays her on a bench in the corner of the room. Only then does he look at the others in the room. 

The Doctor sits on the floor, face pale, eyes blank, but otherwise unharmed. You sit on a chair, hand on a bandage on your shoulder. Yaz is crouched by the Doctor, supporting her. Ryan is just staring at Graham, a smile on his face. 

"Grandad!" Ryan hugs Graham as tight as he can. 

Graham closes his eyes as he leans into the hug. He needed that, he really did. He can feel the adrenaline leaving him, replaced by sickening fear. He wants to puke remembering the bodies he saw in the atrium earlier. "I'm so glad you're okay, son."

"Oh my god, your hand!" Ryan gasps, noting the blood running down Graham's wrist, and dripping to the floor. 

Graham frowns. In the chaos, he had forgotten about his hand. He nods. 

Springing into action, the med student grabs equipment and gets Graham to sit down. The medic numbs his hand, and begins working, pulling out broken shards, and stitching his skin. 

Whilst the medic works, Graham looks around the rest of the room. "Everyone else is okay, right?" 

"We're good, Graham." You tell the old man. He looks exhausted, as does the young girl he carried in. She lies sleeping where Graham placed her. "Who's she?"

Graham sighs, looking at her as he explains his story. Once finished, he turns to the doctor. "Doc, you okay?"

She's perked up a bit, regaining her strength whilst Graham was regailing the others with his story. She's still too pale for Graham's liking though. The Doctor nods anyway. "I'm tired of the psychic attacks, but we should be able to get them to stop soon though."

Graham frowns, not understanding. "How?"

You smile. "Well, while you were hiding away in a room, we were hiding away in a separate room going over blueprints, discovering secret tunnels to blow these zombies up in."

Yaz throws you a smile. She then catches Graham up on the situation. 

By this time, the Doctor is back on her feet. "Do you think the zombies are still outside?" She asks Ryan, who's closest to the door. 

Face grim, Ryan nods. He can hear them shuffling outside. "Yeah. And I don't think they're leaving anytime soon. They know we're in here."

The Doctor sighs, going to the window, and peering outside it. She then casts a quick glance back at the maps, ensuring all her knowledge is right. "Right then. Through the window it is."

Before the others have a chance to stop her, she takes a chair and throws it through the glass, sending shards everywhere. 

"Doctor!" Yaz exclaims, exasperated with the way the Doctor does things without telling them first. "A little warning next time maybe?" 

You laugh, watching the scene play out. "But Yaz where would the fun be in that?"

The Doctor throws you a smile, before clambering out through the (now empty) window. 

The medic has only just finished patching up Graham, wrapping his hand in gauze, and then wrapping what feels like yards of bandage around his hand to protect and support it. Graham thanks him, looking daunted at the prospect of following the Doctor through a window when he's just been patched up.

Yaz sighs, following the Doctor through. Ryan follows next, then Graham, and you bring up the rear, taking care as you guide your aching body through the annoying high window frame. 

Just as the med student goes to leave, the Doctor stops him. "No, you stay here, look after Raven. You should be safe so long as you keep the door barricaded."

The med student purses his lips, hating the idea of being left, but knows the Doctor is right. He nods. 

The Doctor turns to the four of you, and claps her hands together. "Come on then fam. Let's get a shift on."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled a bit with writing this, so sorry if it's terrible. I had to rewrite this a couple times and it's still not great. 
> 
> Sometimes one chapter just ain't as good as the others. 
> 
> Honestly, had no plan for this chapter
> 
> Thank for reading anyways


	5. What do we do now?

Walking fast in front of you, the Doctor doesn't glance back at her companions as she matches along. You stare at her back, noting the way her coat flaps as she walks; she's walking incredibly quickly, going who knows where for a reason she hasn't yet divulged to you. You can't help but think back to the medic and Raven as you walk, hoping they're okay. Raven was feeling the same psychic attacks that the Doctor was feeling, but hopefully the medic can help her through them. The expression on Graham's face says he's just as worried about Raven as you are, not surprising considering he has a huge heart, and is such a sweet grandad. You can't read Ryan and Yaz, but they're undoubtedly in autopilot, trailing behind the doctor without asking, like they've done hundreds of times before. They must be as curious as you are about what the plan is.

"So, where we headed?" Tired of following along dutifully, you can't help but ask the question rattling around everyone's minds. 

The Doctor doesn't answer at first, instead keeping a steady pace. That catches Yaz's attention, and she shoots you a look, worried. The Doctor hasn't been herself since you landed here, and it's showing. 

The TARDIS comes into view, and you realise you're back near the front of the spa. 

"I need to do a scan." Talking quietly, the Doctor opens the TARDIS, not holding the door open for anyone to follow. So, left alone, you and the others share worried glances. You know the Doctor has a plan, she said as much, but she hasn't announced the full plan. Again, that's unlike her. Normally she lets someone in on the plan, sending people off to do different tasks. Hopefully the Doctor will go back to normal once all of this is over. 

Emerging, the Doctor seems slightly happier, a smile on her face that makes you frown. "Come on gang. This way." She doesn't glance back to see if you're following. 

You know that feeling. You've seen that mask before, plastered on your own face when the pain became too much, but there was nothing you could do to make anything better. You know the look on the Doctor's face because you've been where she is. 

The problem is too big for all of you to get out unscathed. 

Understanding the Doctor's mindset, you say nothing to the others, trailing behind. But you're not just trailing behind because you're worried about the Doctor. The massage you had earlier had done great things for your pain, but now it is coming back with a vengeance, jostling your joints with each movement. Pain spikes down your back with every breath. 

Great. Just what you need. 

The Doctor finally comes to a stop inside the doors to the atrium. Looking around, she sighs in relief. It's empty. The four of you crowd in after her. 

"What's going on, Doc? Why are we here?" Graham asks. 

The Doctor shakes her head, closing her eyes and putting her fingers to her temples. "Somewhere here, there's a hatch."

"A hatch?" Ryan asks

"Yeah. It leads to the underground tunnels." The Doctor tells him, eyes still closed. 

Nudging Yaz, you motion around the room. "Let's have a look for it, yeah?" 

Yaz nods, feeling useless. You share the sentiment entirely. The two of you head towards the now vacant reception desk. You slip behind it, crashing into the receptionists chair, grateful to take the weight off your feet and legs. But the work never stops, and you begin to rifle through the papers on the desk, of which there isn't many. 

The Doctor grunts, struggling to remember the exact location of the hatch. So she heads to the stairs, and goes up to the first balcony overlooking the atrium. Hands on the railings, she scours the room. 

"See anything, Doc?" Graham asks, mimicking her position next to her. 

"There!" She gasps. "Of course it's in the fountain, hidden by the water. So obvious." 

Ryan frowns, smiling at Graham. "If you say so."

A yelp from the Doctor grabs your attention, and you look over to see that the Doctor's knees have buckled. Pain, worry and fear grip your heart. You know what's going to happen, it's happened so many times now, but it never gets easier seeing people you love in pain. "Yaz!"

You and Yaz stop searching, and run up to the balcony as fast as you can manage. You're the last one there. 

Sitting against the railing, the Doctor is staring straight ahead, clearly looking at something. Yaz is kneeling at her side. "Doctor, it's okay."

"You're dead." 

Everyone frowns, worried and confused glances shooting between you all. Who's dead? What's the Doctor talking about?

Tears begin to brew in the doctors eyes, her face crumpling. "I watched you die. Your ship blew up. There was nothing I could do."

Okay, so you know there's so much of the Doctor's life you don't know about. But she's told you about the odd adventure, like with Agatha Christie, new new York, the face of boe, Charles Dickens. Never has she mentioned someone getting blown up. 

"Adric please-" who's Adric? "No, you don't understand."

The Doctor gets to her feet, clearly talking to someone who isn't there. Its these psychic attacks. First they caused her pain, now they're making her see things, people who aren't there.

Taking a desperate step forward, and reaching a hand towards the non existent person, she suddenly freezes. 

"Donna."

"I didn't... I didn't want to. You need to know, it was-" she swallows, tears running freely now. "I had to make you forget me."

That stabs each of you in the heart. They can't imagine what it must be like to have to forget the Doctor. And the pain it must have caused her at the time. 

"Jenny?" 

"Please... I- don't say that."

"I didn't want to let you in because.... You don't understand, please."

The Doctor sinks to her knees, looking up at someone who isn't there, who must be tormenting her. None of you have never seen the Doctor like this before. 

"I didn't want to accept that I had a daughter because I didn't want to lose you. And I did! I did, I lost you too." The Doctor's face crumples, as she sobs. 

You feel a gut wrenching pain at her words. She had said a long time ago that she had lost her family. But seeing how it still affects her is so much worse. 

You kneel down, and place a hand on her shoulder. You want to snap her out of it, but you don't know if this will make the situation better or worse. "Doctor."

"Clara? What are you doing here?"

You have no idea who Clara is, bit she heard you, that's something. You play along. "I want to help you Doctor."

"But, what about... You went back to Trap street didn't you?"

Trap street? "I did, Doctor."

That was clearly the wrong answer, as her face crumples again, fresh tears sprouting from her eyes. She leans forwards and scoops you into a hug. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I should have sent you away. I knew it would happen, it always happens. I took you with me because you were a mystery I wanted to figure out, and all I did was lead you to your death. I should have sent you away."

Tears brim in your own eyes at the pain in the Doctor's voice. "It wasn't your fault, Doctor. I love travelling with you. You're my best friend."

"You died. You became too much like me. I should have sent you away the second I noticed it. I should send them all away. I just... I don't like being lonely."

Stroking the hair out of her face. "You shouldn't be alone Doctor."

She smiles. "you sound like-"

Her eyes focus on something over your shoulder. "River?" 

Her hands slip from your shoulders, and she gets to her feet, backing away. "Oh River." There's something new in her voice, not just sadness. There's now guilt. 

"My beautiful wife. I'm sorry. I had all those years to try and figure out how to save you. And still you died." 

Wife? The Doctor is married? 

Pain flickers across Yaz's face, but you all pretend not to notice. 

Panic spreads across the Doctor's face. She starts to chase whoever it is she's seeing, but smacks into the railing. 

The second she goes to climb over the railing, Graham and Ryan run forwards, grabbing her, and pulling her back. 

"Oh no Doc, you're not jumping." 

Clearly she doesn't like it, as the Doctor freaks, her fists flailing as she tries to get to whoever she's seeing. "Please! Let me go to her. I miss her. I need her. I need..."

Her eyes roll back in her head, and she slumps, a dead weight, in Ryan's arms. Ryan lies her down on the floor, as gently as he can manage. 

You all sit down next to her. Yaz smooths the doctors hair and wipes the tears from her face. 

"That was horrible." Yaz whispers. 

You nod. She actually spoke to you. She thought you were someone else. Seeing the pain in her eyes, feeling the desperation when she hugged you...

"What do we do now?" 

You all shrug, unsure. You can't stay here long, those zombie things probably heard her screaming, and will be heading your way. 

"Give her five minutes. Then we move." 

You all sit there in silence, looking at the sleeping Time Lord. None of you mention what you're all so desperate to talk about:

The Doctor has seen so many people die. And she's caused some of those deaths too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so the chapter title is the title of another fix I mine
> 
> I got lazy, so I reused the title
> 
> Sue me
> 
> Recycling is good for the planet anyway


	6. The ghosts of her past

You stare at the ceiling from your position on the floor. Why is this happening?

"Why isn't she waking up?" The words snap you from your stupor, and you look to Ryan. You have no answer, so let your head fall back to the floor. You took up this position about twenty minutes ago, when the pain in your back became so intense you couldn't even sit up straight. 

"Clearly the psychic attacks did more damage than we realised." Yaz offers. 

"Clearly." You mutter sarcastically, in too much pain, and too worried to be able to muster up any kind, or helpful, words. 

"So what do we do? The Doc's been out for half an hour." Graham gets to his feet and begins pacing.

Ryan rests his head on his hand, staring at the unconscious Time Lord on the bed. After the Doctor had passed out, you had waited for about five minutes, but then heard the ominous shuffling coming from the zombies, and so had to move. Ryan had carried the Doctor into a guest room a little way off, which is where you were now situated. The adrenaline of the day has made your pain worse than it was before all of this. 

Your 'relaxing spa day' did the exact opposite of what it was meant to do.

Yaz stares at the Doctor, worry written on her face. You're all worried, but Yaz more than the rest of you, apparently. "Should we try waking her up? I don't like her like this. She's too still."

You can't help but agree. The Doctor is chaos, endless energy, sparks flying from a broken console, running down corridors, crazy hair, oil streaks and rolled sleeves. 

The Doctor is never still. 

Sighing, Graham goes to the bed, shaking the Doctor's shoulder. "Come on Doc, you need to wake up."

Nothing. She remains motionless on the bed. 

You groan, getting to your feet, and sitting yourself on the side of the bed. "We need you Doctor. We can't fix this without you."

Without warning, the Doctor sits bolt upright, nearly smacking her forehead into yours. She gasps, looking around the room, her brow crinkling. "How'd I get here?" 

"Ryan carried you." You tell her. Looking at the way she is suddenly on her feet, scuttling around the room, and scanning each of you, you can't believe that moments ago you were thinking about how she was being too still.

"You're okay?" Yaz asks, stopping the Doctor. Yaz's hands go to the Doctors shoulders, and they look into each others eyes. 

The Doctor is the first to break eye contact. 

She is rushing across the room, but you notice now, the slump of her shoulders, the sadness in her eyes. She is still being affected by what she saw. The ghosts of her past haunting her still. 

You can't let the Doctor wallow in self pity right now. Right now she needs to help you get through that hatch in the bottom of the fountain. "Doctor, what do we do?"

She looks to you, a smile forming on her face 

************

"Oh yeah, no big deal." You grumble, looking down to the floor below. You're back on the balcony overlooking the atrium. "Yeah, so just sneak past the army of the dead, get to the fountain, drain the fountain, and then open the hatch and sneak into it, all in complete silence without the zombies noticing us. Yeah, easy. No problem whatsoever." 

The zombies seem to have congregated by the reception desk. They just stand there, eyes vacant of all emotion. Some sway on the spot, others seem to be slowing turning round in circles. But most just stand completely still, not doing anything. You know, however, that the second they see something still alive, they'll pounce, and rip it to shreds in a second. 

"Why do they rip apart the non zombies?" You ask, not realising that question had been in your mind until you ask it. 

The Doctor shrugs. "I don't know." Face scronch. "Probably because they're trying to infect the spa, killing off non similar life signs. Almost like the virus itself is doing to their bodies."

"So if they can't infect you?" 

"They kill you?" Yaz asks, finishing Ryan's question. 

You sigh. "wonderful." Sarcasm. You're good at sarcasm (you think, despite the fact that half the time you're being sarcastic people don't realise it.)

The Doctor takes a deep breath beside you, and you glance at her, worry clawing at your chest. You can see it in her face, she's in pain, she wants out. Against your better judgement, you place a hand on her shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. "Doctor, are you okay?"

The Doctor nods, the oh-so-obviously-fake smile returning like it never disappeared. "Of course, why wouldn't I be, I'm the king of okay." Then she frowns. "Queen."

Before she has the chance to have an untimely rumble on about her gender, and how she's still not used to the change, like she has a thousand times before, Ryan interrupts. "Were going to need a distraction."

"No, absolutely not!" The Doctor argues. She isn't losing anyone today. "If they catch you, they'll kill you!"

Ryan shrugs. "All we need to do is draw them away long enough for you to get down the hatch, and then we run back to the TARDIS, where we'll be safe."

"And who exactly is 'we'?" Yaz asks, not liking the way Ryan was looking at her. Apart from you, her and Ryan are the youngest in the group, meaning they're the fastest. If you weren't in pain, you'd probably offer to go in her place.

"Me and Ryan, ain't that right, son?" Graham announces. No way is he leaving his grandson with those things alone. 

You feel the Doctor's eyes on you. "Once the zombies are gone you should get to the TARDIS."

You frown, feeling almost insulted. You know that she suggested this because you're in pain, (and quite honestly you would like to go to the TARDIS and curl up in your bed right now, not that she needs to know) but you're not useless. "No, I'm coming with."

The Doctor sighs, and pulls you off to the side. Immediately you know this is going to be a serious conversation. 

"I can't promise you won't get hurt. And if you come with, there's no stopping to rest of you're hurting." The Doctor tells you. The serious look in her eyes makes you want to reconsider, to go to the TARDIS. But you aren't useless, despite the pain. 

"No Doctor." You tell her, your voice firm. "Maybe I'm in pain, and maybe I might slow you down, but I cant keep living like I'm about to break at any second. I don't want to keep on closing myself off. I don't want to live like that. That's why I'm travelling with you. So screw my fucking pain. I'm coming with."

The Doctor stares at you for a second, and you can almost see the cogs turning in her mind. Wondering if there's anything else she can say to dissuade you from coming. "Alright." She finally concedes. 

You nod. "Thank you."

The two of you rejoin the others. Taking charge once more, the Doctor announces the plan. "So, Ryan and Graham, you will go down there and distract the zombies, moving them away from the atrium. Then the rest of us will go down, Yaz will drain the fountain, and I'll unscrew the hatch. The three of us then go down, and figure out how we can blow up the tunnels. Once we've found out bomb, I will come back, and draw the zombies down, before blowing up the tunnels. Got it?"

You all nod, but deep down, the word 'bomb' hits hard. Although you had all agreed on blowing up the spa, it hadn't quite resonated with you what exactly that entailed. 

Graham and Ryan share a look, before descending the stairs. "Hey, zombies! Yeah you! Over here!" They wave their hands in the air, drawing the attention of those monsters. 

Heads swivel to look in their direction, and with a panicked look on their faces, Graham and Ryan run off, taking all the zombies with them. The atrium clears. Fear and concern thrums through you. You don't know what you'll do if Graham and Ryan don't make it back. 

Waiting no longer than she has to, the Doctor runs down the stairs as soon as it's empty, Yaz on her tail. The Doctor jumps into the fountain, water soaking into her clothes immediately. Yaz sticks an arm in, looking for a grate or a plug, or something that will let the water drain away. Eventually she finds a small grate, and yanks it out, the water draining quickly. The Doctor is sonicking away at the bolts on the hatch, and eventually, it comes lose. 

Pulling it up from the floor, the Doctor beckons you and Yaz over. The hole that leads down is small, with metals rungs secured into the wall. Clearly, it's designed for people to go down. But there are no lights. The lights from the atrium only illuminate the first two or so meters before it plunges into darkness. 

There's a look of childish glee in the Doctor's eyes. "Right then. Into the dark."

You and Yaz share a look. You've just got to hope there isn't hell down there.


	7. Your secrets are your own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> life has been pretty hectic, and i totally forgot to upload this.
> 
> i also got started on another fic series but thsts not going to be coming out anytime soon.
> 
> hope you enjoy  
> :-)

"I'm really not made for this." Grumbling, Graham follows Ryan as the pair bolt through the spa. With no idea of where they're headed, they maintain a speed so they're always out of reach from the zombies, but never too far away so the zombies lose sight of them. It's been fifteen minutes since they left the Doctor, and they're both getting tired. 

"But, if we stop, the zombies might go back to where the Doctor is." Ryan points out, as they dip around a corner and stop. Backs pressed against the wall, breathing heavy, they look around for somewhere to go, somewhere that might lead back to the TARDIS. 

Graham shakes his head. "We cant keep this up forever though, Ryan. We need to stop at some point."

Ryan sighs, unsure of an answer. He doesn't know what would be the best course of action right now. 

But before either of them can speak, a door creaks open about five meters away. They see the head of another human looking figure poke out from behind the door. She beckons them closer.

"Hello?" Graham says as they walk into the room. It's a sizable room, which is just as well considering there are about twenty people packed inside. 

"What are you doing in the corridor? Don't you know its not safe?" The woman snarls. But both the men can see the concern she has behind the anger. She's been through something, this woman. They all have. 

"We were trying to lure the zombies away from our friend." Ryan tells them.

"Why? Save their life by ending yours? How stupid are you?" The woman snaps.

"Hey, no, its not like that. The Doc, she's got a plan to wipe all them monsters out. However, it does require blowing up the spa, so we kinda need to get all of you out of here." Graham tells them, hoping that it might diffuse the tension.

The woman crosses her arms in front of her chest. "No."

"No?" someone room the back of the room asks, pushing through the crowd. "What do you mean no?"

The woman turns to him. "I mean, I've lost enough today. I had to watch both my daughters get slaughtered, right in front of my eyes. I'm not risking anyone else today!" She screams

"If it helps, I can create a distraction?" Ryan offers, interrupting the woman.

Every face in the room turns to face Ryan. "No," Graham says. "Not without me."

"No, if you lead them to the TARDIS, I lead the zombies in the other direction, then I'll get the zombies back to the Doctor on the way back to the TARDIS. It's simple."

The woman turns to Ryan. "Why should I trust you? And who the hell are you two anyway?" 

"I'm Graham, and this is my grandson, Ryan." Graham introduces.

"And you should trust us because do you really have another way out? Or were you planning on just living in here for the rest of your lives?" Ryan adds.

The woman huffs, turning her back on them, but the man steps closer to the two of them. "Look, don't mind Kip, shes been through a lot. But, what you were saying, about being able to get us out, well, I'm willing to take that risk. I've a daughter at home. I'm all she has. I owe it to her to try and get back to her."

Graham nods, clapping the man on the shoulder. "Thank you."

"I'll talk to Kip and the others. You rest. You look like you could do with it."

Graham frowns. "Thanks. I think."

******************************

The tunnel is crazy dark. There is probably a better way of putting it than that, but if there is, you cant think of it. The doctor seems to be able to see a bit better than you and Yaz, so leads the way. Yaz has one hand in the Doctor's, and the other in one of yours. None of you want to risk getting lost in the dark. The deeper you go, the danker it seems to get. You can vaguely hear a dripping in the distance, probably from a leaky pipe. 

"The hell was that?" Yaz suddenly squeals, flinching as something runs across her foot.

"A rat, probably." You say, with an equal amount of cringe in your voice. 

"I hate rats." The Doctor mumbles quietly, determined to keep on walking.

You squeeze Yaz's hand. You've been worried about the Doctor since she woke up, but even more so once you all entered the tunnels. She has been extremely quiet, barely saying anything to you and Yaz. Occasionally she mutters something to herself, but it's in a language you don't understand. Maybe it's her native tongue?

It's Yaz squeezing back, that tell you you're not imagining things, and that the Doctor has definitely been off. Not quite herself.

"Doctor?" You ask softly, "can I ask you something? And you don't have to answer if you don't want to." The Doctor's secrets are her stories to tell, and you aren't going to push her into giving up what she doesn't want to relive. Ghosts are painful. You know that as well as anyone.

"Go ahead." The Doctor answers, fake enthusiasm in her voice. 

Either your eyes are adjusting, or the tunnel is getting slightly lighter, because you can see the way her shoulders slump as you ask your question. "What did you mean when you said you had a wife?"

Yaz's shoulders tense up, and she squeezes your hand in warning. The Doctor has been delicate since she woke up, you shouldn't be pushing her. But you also know that her keeping things to herself isn't healthy.

She sighs, and keeps walking, not saying anything for a while.

"River... River was a beautiful woman I met by accident. Our timelines were the wrong way round, we kept meeting in the reverse order. The first time I met her, she knew all about me. And every time we met after that, I knew her more... she knew me less. It killed me every time. Roughly in the middle of our shared timeline, I married her. She also killed me, which is complicated. The whole thing is complicated." The doctor tries to laugh it off, but there is such an overwhelming sadness in her eyes.

Yaz can see the pain in the Doctor's features better than you can. "How did she die?"

"She gave up her life to save a planet, and a little girl. In return I saved her to the biggest computer database in the universe."

"Why?" You ask

But before the Doctor can answer your question, she stops dead. "Oh here we go! You beauty!"

You and Yaz step up to her sides, looking at what she's started fiddling with. It's a pipeline, secured to the wall. "A gas pipeline?"

The Doctor's smile is genuine. "Yeah. The perfect ammunition."

But Yaz is hesitant. "Are you sure about this. We'll be killing all those infected people."

The Doctor turns to face her, her face stormy. Both you and Yaz flinch away from the Time Lord. "The infected are already dead. There isn't any saving them."

You sigh. "Okay, so what do we do now?" It's better to keep the Doctor on track than let her stew in her own grief. You don't need an angsty Doctor right now. You need her to have her head in the game.

"Well, ideally we need to see if this pipeline runs into a wider area, one that's easy to get loads of those zombies into at the same time."

Yaz nods, heading off down the tunnel. She can leave her questions until a later date.

You stay where you are, watching the Doctor work, as you lean against the side of the tunnel. Your own pain is getting worse with each passing moment, but you refuse to admit that to either Yaz or the Doctor. 

Finally, the Doctor steps back, a wide smile on her face. At the same time, Yaz comes running back. "The tunnel widens to about 20 meters wide, in about seven meters time. Perfectly wide enough for all the zombies to fit in."

The Doctor's smiling now, a real proper smile. And that worries you slightly. (The Doctor never smiles at the prospect of blowing stuff up.) "Okay. So, hopefully Graham and Ryan are still alive and can begin luring the zombies back here. We bring them down, set off the little bomb I've added to the pipeline, and destroy everything. Problem sorted."

You smile, but then that smile falls. "How close do we need to be to set off the bomb?" If anyone is close to it, they too will be blown to smithereens. 

The Doctor's face falls. "Don't worry about that. I'll be the one to set it off." 

"Um, like hell you will!" Yaz shouts. She is not risking the Doctor's life. 

"She's right. If you die, well be stranded here. None of us can fly the TARDIS." You add.

"That wouldn't be a problem. All you'd have to do is tell her what's happened, and she'll take you home." 

"You said I could stay with you until I decided to go home. I'm not going back to the life I had before. I'm not giving all this up!" You yell, ignoring the pain that is shooting through you. "You promised Doctor! You can't die here!"

"Well then who's meant to set off the bomb? Huh? You guys. Because you couldn't come back from it. I could, I'd have a chance. I'm not risking anyone else!" The Doctor yells back. 

"You wouldn't have a chance and neither would we. We get that. But Doctor, we need you, the universe needs you." Yaz shouts, gripping the Doctor by the collar of her coat and slamming her against the wall. 

"What do we need to say to make you believe we need you?" Yaz's voice is softer than you've ever heard it before, as she tells the Time Lord exactly what the Doctor needs to hear. 

"But who would set it off?" The Doctor challenges. But she doesn't fight against Yaz, knowing the younger woman's words are right. 

"I will." You say. 

Both Yaz and the Doctor's heads snap to face you. "no."

"Why not?" You challenge softly. Pain lances through you again. "My body is broken, I'm falling apart. I live every day in pain. I don't want to die, but if someone has to risk their life, setting off that stupid thing, then let it be the person who has less of a life to live."

The Doctor grabs your shoulders. "Think this through properly. Even if you survive, you could be left with debilitating-"

"I already live each day with debilitating pain, Doctor. I know what I'm doing." You won't let either of them talk you out of this. You know my own mind, and you know there is no way in hell that you would let either of them take your place. 

The doctor can see that in your eyes, and she nods. "okay."

"What? No, doctor, you can't let them..."

"They're right, Yaz." That's all the doctor says as she pulls Yaz away. She throws you her sonic and begins to go back the way they came, looking for the zombies. 

This is it. 

Today is the day you die. 

******************************

Ryan can barely stop for breath as he bolts down the corridors. The zombies chase after him, but also seem to burst out from around corners, reaching for him, their pale, discoloured fingers desperately trying to get a hold of him. Dear and adrenaline are all that keeps him going in his exhaustion. 

He can't keep this up for very much longer. 

He's taking a pretty roundabout route to get to the lobby, where hopefully the Doctor is waiting for him. That's when she will take over. 

Entering the lobby, he has never been so glad to see the Doctor. Her blonde head pokes out from the hatch in the floor, and she is waving at him, pointing to the windows. Following her directions, he turns and sprints to the windows, where he sees Graham standing and waiting behind an open window. Ryan dives through it, landing roughly on the ground. Graham slams the window shut, and manhandles Ryan towards the TARDIS. The other survivors are waiting for the two of them inside the blue box. 

The Doctor smiles as she sees two of her companions make their way back to her home. Now her only job is to keep the zombies attention. She doesn't have to get every single one down the tunnel, but as many as she can. The rest will be killed in the collapse of the spa. 

Screaming, waving, shouting, she manages to get the attention of the zombies, who begin their menacing crawl towards her. 

Waiting for as long as she can bare, the Doctor begins to climb back into the tunnel, the zombies close on her tail. Hitting the floor, she sprints towards where you wait for her. Zombies fall down the ladder, unable to control their motor functions enough to climb. The ones that don't break their legs, follow the Doctor, their bait. 

The Doctor slows down when she reaches you. She stops right beside you. 

"In my heart forever." She whispers, grabbing you and engulfing you in a bone crushing hug. You get the feeling she doesn't often get the chance to say goodbye before one of her companions... 

Anyway. 

The zombies enter your line of sight, and the Doctor lets you go. You reluctantly let her coat slip from your grasp. You can hear her get to Yaz. 

"We can't leave them Doctor." Yaz protests. 

"Come on." You know the Doctor has to drag Yaz away. 

Yaz managed to find another exit to the tunnel, but they'll have to run like hell to get there before you set the bomb off. The Doctor told you the sonic gives you fifty meters. Fifty meters away from a bomb when it blows up. That won't be enough to save you. 

Only a miracle will save you. 

But that's okay. You've had a good life. 

And giving up your life for the Doctor, for Yaz, for Ryan and Graham?

It is not on your list of regrets. 

The zombies reach the bomb. The zombies keep coming. 

You raise the sonic screwdriver and point it at the bomb. 

.....


	8. Help me

Yaz is nearly at the surface when the planet shakes. Nearly slipping from the ladder, she lets out a scream. But the Doctor catches her, an arm wrapping around her waist and steadying her. That was too close for comfort. 

A grim look passes between Yaz and the Doctor. You've done it, you've blown up the zombies. You're also dead. 

"Come on. We don't have long before all this collapses." The Doctor reminds Yaz, as she continues to climb. 

Reaching the surface, the two of them collapse as another quake rattles the ground. A large crack appears in the ground, not too far off, and part of the spa starts to crumble. 

"Doctor!" The call is faint, but Yaz can vaguely make out Graham standing in the door of the TARDIS waving. 

"Run!" The Doctor tells Yaz. 

Yaz doesn't need to be told twice, and sprints after the Doctor, getting to the doors of their time machine just as the car park begins to collapse in on itself. The Doctor barely seems to notice the twenty extra passengers clogging up the control room, as she pulls levers, flicks switches, and gets the TARDIS off planet. 

It's only once they're all safely in space that the Doctor slows down. Leaning against the console, she looks to Graham and Ryan. 

"Why exactly are there a bunch of strangers in my console room?" 

Ryan scratches the back of his head as Graham explains. "They're survivors, Doc. I couldn't just leave them."

The Doctor sighs. "No, you were right. I'm sorry for snapping."

"Hang on, where's..." Ryan suddenly notices that the Doctor and Yaz came back one person short. 

The Doctor hangs her head, ashamed that she let you do what you did. 

"They died. They set off the bomb that destroyed the spa." Yaz says softly, seeing the pain and defeat in the Doctor's eyes. 

"What? Didnt you try to stop them?" Graham is rightly appalled. 

"Of course I tried Graham! But you know what they're like. They wouldn't let me or Yaz risk our lives. I couldn't persuade them!" The Doctor screams, fists punching the console as she struggles to control her grief and anger. She sinks to the floor, as tears spring to her eyes. "I couldn't save them." 

That's another one. One more companion dead because of her. Dead because no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn't save them. But you were the first, the first one she gave up on too soon. The first one that had managed to persuade her to let them die. And that was what killed her. It was always the first that killed her.

Ryan can't look at the Doctor, and Graham stands still, in shock. But Yaz crouches down, and gathers the Doctor into her arms, letting the Time Lord scream out her grief. 

Some time later, the Doctor sits up straight, reaching into one of her coat pockets. Out she pulls her psychic paper. 

"DOCTOR. SAVE ME."

The look she sends her team puts frowns on all their faces. 

"What is it?"

The Doctor lets a hint of a smile show upon her face. "They're still alive."

******************************

The zombies reach the bomb. The zombies keep coming. 

You raise the sonic screwdriver and point it at the bomb. 

A few beeps and a light display from the sonic, but otherwise, nothing. Panic starts to rise up within you. If this bomb doesn't go off you're going to get mailed to deal by zombies. And sure, you've accepted the face that you're going to die, but you planned on getting blown up; a quick death. You didn't want to feel the pain of joints popping, muscles ripping, as zombies tear you apart.

You press the sonic again, still nothing. 

Discoloured fingers are just reaching out for you, fingertips brushing the skin of your face, when a huge blast slams into your chest. Shrapnel from the pipe skewers the zombies closest to you, and you make a narrow escape. But the gas pipe still has secrets to give. 

You land heavily on your back, the force of the blast knocking all the wind out of you. Groaning, you get to your feet, ignoring the decapitated corpses, the blood on your face, the pain in your body. You begin to make your way towards the exit Yaz and the Doctor escaped through. You can see the beginning of the ladder when the aftershocks ring out. 

The first thing you feel is pain radiating through your chest, as something metal pierces your chest. 

The force of this blast is stronger, you can feel the ground shake before you are thrown off your feet again, slamming into the wall of the far side of the tunnel. The ceiling begins to cave in, dust and debris filling the air and collapsing on top of you. Despite the chaos and the pain, you can see the ladder still standing, and try to crawl towards it. 

"Doctor, help me." You think, you pray, hoping that the TARDIS telepathic circuits might pick you up. But it's a long shot. The Doctor can't do long distance telepathy unless it's with another timelord. At least, that's what she seemed to suggest when you had asked all that time ago. 

You haven't been able to check your wound, what with a large piece of concrete lying on top of you, but you can tell it's bleeding a lot. The bloodloss is starting to affect you, your vision wavers, breathing hurts, and you feel incredibly light headed. Youre also losing the feeling in your legs, which frankly, just adds injury to insult. 

"Doctor, help me." You scream it this time, the pain becoming unbearable. You know pain. You live with pain every day. 

But this is worse than any pain you've ever felt before. 

Not to mention the fear that comes with it. 

You try to pull yourself forwards, out of the rubble, to no avail. All you succeed in doing is causing pain to flare through you. 

You don't want to die like this, bleeding out beneath the rubble. You had thought it would be a quick death, blowing yourself up. But no. It looks like it will be a very slow death indeed. 

"DOCTOR!"

******************************

The second the TARDIS lands, team TARDIS are out the door and searching. There is no way they are leaving this planet without you, dead or not. If you were conscious enough to send a message capable of being picked up by the TARDIS telepathic circuits, there's a high chance you're still alive. How though, no one quite knows. 

It takes about an hour of searching, before Graham finally sees an outstretched arm, and dust filled hair under a pile of rubble. 

"Over here!" He yells, scrabbling to get to you. He wiped the dust and hair from out your face. You're out cold. Not surprising. 

He also notes, with an impending sense of doom, that there is quite a large pile of blood pouring out from under you. 

"Doctor! Hurry!"

Ryan and Yaz reach Graham first, and do their best to lift the rubble off your body, enough so they can pull you out from the rubble. The Doctor arrives just in time to help Yaz check for a pulse. 

You have one, but it's so incredibly weak. 

The Doctor says nothing, and just picks you up and rushes to the TARDIS, everyone else hot on her heels. She gets you straight into the medbay, which thanks to the TARDIS, is significantly closer to the console room than usual. The TARDIS doesn't need to be told where to go, she just pilots herself. 

"Doctor. Are they going to be alright?" Yaz asks softly, helping the Doctor wrap a bandage tightly around your chest, in an attempt to slow the bleeding. The piece of shrapnel - a smaller than you thought from the pain piece of metal - still sticks out of your chest at an alarming angle. 

The Doctor secures the bandage, and runs a bloodied hand through her hair, not quite caring about all the blood getting everywhere. There are far more important things to worry about right now. "Honesty Yaz, I dont know. But wherever the TARDIS is taking us, it's going to be the best place for them."

The TARDIS lands at resus one. The Doctor picks you up again and runs into the hospital. As soon as a certain young medic sees you, she starts rattling off orders, telling people to prepare an operating theatre. 

Five hours later you are rolled out of theatre, with the shrapnel removed, and sixty stitches in your chest. Your heart stopped twice in surgery, but mabli doesn't tell the Doctor that. 

"They'll be fine. But they'll need to be on bed rest for at least three weeks. Two of their ribs are badly broken, and their spine is bruised. They'll make a full recovery though."

The Doctor nods, holding one of your hands in hers. "Thank you."

The drugs start wearing off about four hours later. You crack open you eyes and look around, not recognising the pristine white walls surrounding you. But you do recognise the face of the dozing time lord next to you, who's holding your hand. You squeeze it, letting her know your awake. 

Her eyes lock onto yours. 

You smile. "Seriously Doctor. Next time we go to a spa, can we have one without the man eating zombies?" 

The Doctor laughs, relief flooding her features. "Anything you say."


End file.
